Working with Couples
Perhaps the most important goal of relationship work is to encourage two people to connect meaningfully without losing their independence--their sense of self--to accept each other fully while accepting themselves fully.
In other words, the goal is to achieve separateness and relatedness at the same time.
In a successful relationship the paradox of being both separate and related exists comfortably without giving in to confusion, anger or fear. Couple work can be an essential tool in achieving and maintaining this important balance.
What happens in Couple work?
The primary goal of Couple Therapy the creation of a safe and secure environment within which a couple can explore their life together. Happy couples don't typically seek help from a professional. When a couple decides seeking help is the best next step it's usually because they have come to the end of their ability to deal with problems effectively. The first step in Couple Therapy is to address the tension and stress that typically accompanies relationship discord. Once the couple has achieved a measure of stability, the next step is to generate productive conversation around the changes each partner needs to make in order for destructive relationship patterns to be broken. None of this is easy but it can be amazingly transformative.