Nicolee Hiltz, PhD

Psychologist
Attempting to make a serious life change is never easy.  It usually comes with a lot of stress, a measure of fear and in the best of circumstances, a good bit of hope.  This site will tell you about who I am and what I can offer.  I hope it will be helpful as you make decisions about the support you need as you contemplate the next steps in your life.

Two things I like to do...

Working with Individuals

Individual work offers the opportunity to explore problems related to specific life circumstances as well as broader issues having to do with the direction your life is starting to take. 
     
Generally speaking, there are five "windows" of experience--thoughts, emotions, sensations, intentions and actions. Increasing awareness of and access to each of these aspects improves one's ability to live a life characterized by integrity, genuineness and honesty. 
     
Sometimes it can be helpful to think of individual work as your “inner mission.” Ask yourself what stands between you and the life you’d like to have. Once you’ve identified those obstacles you can begin the mission to overcome them.

Working with Couples

 Perhaps the most important goal of couples work is to encourage two people to connect meaningfully without losing their independence--their sense of self--to accept each other fully while accepting themselves fully. 

In other words, the goal is to achieve separateness and relatedness at the same time.

Most couples gain their separateness or individuality at the expense of being related. On the other hand, they often gain a feeling of relatedness at the expense of their individuality. Trading one for the other almost guarantees a loss of intimacy and wholeness.

In a successful relationship the paradox of being both separate and related exists comfortably without giving in to confusion, anger or fear.

Couple work can be an essential tool in achieving and maintaining this important balance.

Two other things...

Jake Thiessen, PhD and I are the co-founders of Couples at Crossroads.  We believe intimate relationships are the place most people go to find happiness and meaning.  We also believe intimate relationships are the best places to begin making the changes we want to make.
I love making art.  This sculpture was a project I took on and enjoyed thoroughly.  The notion of creating a figure, getting to know the form and working through the difficulties of perspective, is a lot like doing therapy.  Doing good therapy is art.  Doing good art is therapy.